Rejections -- And Worse

Howdy ho all!!!!

I've been pretty quiet lately, but it's because I've been thinking.

"Thinking about what, Leigh?" you ask.

Thinking about things that are worse than rejection.

"What?! What's worse than rejection?" you wonder.

Well, a couple things have been worse than just having someone say no to one of my manuscripts. Take the following anecdotal stories from the last few months:

-----Example Number One----

I had an editor reject one of my previously ebook published stories because he said my writing left him cold. Um. Never ever heard that one before. A national magazine said -- "Engrossing, enthralling and entrancing, In Ice is certainly not one to be missed." and nominated it as one of the best erotic romances of 2005. Obviously it wasn't that cold. Right?? RIGHT?! ARG!!! I was pulling my hair out, second guessing myself. I wrote that story to practice writing emotion, choosing a scarred hero and an emotionally damaged heroine. I ghosted around my house, debating it, wondering. I called all my writing friends, spending hours discussing it. I tortured my agent with vulnerable dribblings.

Two weeks later, on an author-only email loop, and a friend of mine cut and pastes her rejection letter from this same editor into the email. Holy Smackers!!! She'd gotten the same exact wording, with only our names changed!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god. This editor was using that cruel, harsh, evil rejection letter as his stock rejection (no wonder he asked to see more of my work!! I had been thinking, "you want more COLD writing, do you?!?"). What a complete asshole! LOL! I'm sorry, but he is. (If you're reading this blog, Mr. Editor, you're an asshole.)

---- Example Number 2 ----

I've been writing for Red Sage's Secrets Anthologies. I love Red Sage and had been pretty sure that Red Sage loved me. Only I hadn't heard anything about my latests submission - for like EIGHT MONTHS!!! Um. I sent emails asking submission status, heard back about 3 months in that I should be receiving an edit letter, then nothing.... Silence. No other emails were answered.
Now most of you know I hurt my back, and that was smack dab in the middle of this. I had thoughts like, "even Red Sage doesn't like my writing any more" - WAHHHHH!

Then two weeks ago, I got an email from the owner of Red Sage, saying my editor had health problems and had retired. I emailed her back and basically was told I'd been lost --- LOST. They didn't hate me, they'd lost my manuscript! Within two hours, I had someone reading it. Within days, they called to buy it.

----Conclusion ----

Well, obviously this business is tough and ego-bashing. Yadda yadda yadda - and all that jazz authors always moan about.

But what I think I finally learned is that things happen that have nothing to do with me, but feel very personal from where I'm standing. An editor has a stock rejection letter that guts me. Another editor becomes ill and loses my manuscript. All that has nothing to do with me, but I took it so personally, they were padding a room with my name on it at the state mental institution. I guess it just finally struck me that I've got to have some distance between me and the people commenting on my work. That doesn't take away all of the pain -- lord, I'm not Superwoman and you'd have to be to withstand all this with a stiff upper lip. But I can remind myself that there are forces at work here that go beyond me and, although they feel very painful, they are things I shouldn't be wasting time and energy worrying about.

Remind me I said this next week when I fly off the handle about my latest round of rejection, would you?